Dad (Dr. Ray Elwart, 1926-1999) was one of those rare men of history. The ones you wish your kids would grow up to be, but who seldom gets the credit they deserve. Like most young boys, I grew up thinking my dad was the smartest, greatest dad alive. Dad was a person who wasn't satisfied with life unless it was for a purpose. And when he did something, he put his all into it. He had a zest for life that I've seen in few people.
When you grow up like that, you (meaning me) take that for granted. I thought that's the way all dads were. Dad was a family man, a tool and die maker, a cabinet maker, an usher at church, a builder for his church, a woodworker (built several houses), a boater, a boat-maker for Chris-Craft wood boats, an inventor, a hunter, the first in his family to go to college, an airplane/helicopter pilot, late in life (36) a college grad, a Chiropractor, the first in his family to become a doctor, a defender of free choice,
a giver.
Dad had to work hard for everything he had. Nothing came easy for him. Try to imagine going to college after being out for 18 or more years, with a family of 5, going to school for 7 hours per day 5 days per week, working 30 hours a week, studying for those 35 hours of classes per week, plus raising a family! He became a Chiropractor because after making the rounds in the medical arena with no success with his sleeping sickness, he finally found something that helped him. And dad's response to his being helped,
he wanted to help others.Looking back now, helping others was what dad did. Maybe because he grew up poor, or maybe because he had to help raise his youngest brother (his mom died when his brother was born), but whatever it is, he did it
for the rest of his life.
When I was a child, kids my age played "war". It was only a few years after World War II, so that was what we did. When I asked about what dad did in the war, he would say with a somber voice, "the war was nothing fun, and nothing to talk about". Boy that put a damper on me. I wanted to know about all the exciting and dangerous things that went on! But I was never to know until....
... my children got older... maybe in their early teens. One day one of the boys were talking about how grandpa was in the war and he did...."where'd you hear that I said?" "from grandpa." "When?" "He told us about when he was in the war." Boy was I surprised! That had to be 30+ years since the war before he even talked about it. Come to find out, dad's job in the army was to go with some guys at night time and pick up the dead bodies and parts and bring them back to be taken care of properly! No wonder my mom would tell me that dad use to wake up sweating with nightmares! All my life I thought my dad was a Private. It wasn't until I went to look at the stone on his grave that I found out he was a Corporal!
There was a lot of things I didn't know about him, but what I did know could fill volumes of books. Things like how he would give shelter to his relatives when they were having problems at home, or when they needed money, or how we went to an out-of-practice Chiropractor to encourage him to get back into practice with an offer to help him in any way (including financially) to get back into practice. This Chiropractor did go back into practice, became very successful, bought a beautiful home in an exclusive area of Farminton Hills, travelled and eventually retired in the Virgin Islands. Dad would spend his waking hours, taking care of patients who came to him as a last resort after everyone gave up on them, and helped them to regain their health (often for little or no money), and going to other doctors to encourage them to let the world know about chiropractic. Whatever would help others, dad and mom were there.
Time after time, I would see patients get well after other methods failed, only to have the patients benefits denied (meaning the payments to dad) because the local MD didn't like Chiropractic. But dad still took care of them. He'd get so disgusted with close-minded people. "don't confuse me with the facts", he'd say. He cared more that people would get help than if he got paid. Many times he would tell me, "you take care of the patients, and you'll be taken care of".
When I was in college there was a couple years (at least) that I had to be an embarassment to them. I looked like a "hippie", and when mom and dad came to visit me, they just loved me like I was the best thing that ever happened to them. Looking back now, they remind me of how God loved me even when I was awful. There was nothing that I did for them to be like that, but they just loved me anyway. All the time I thought I knew better than dad.
I wish that I would have spent more time trying to find out why he did the things he did. I wish I would have supported him more during my stupid days.Fortunately, as I got older (a lot older) dad got wiser :) and I became, well, a kid again, he became a great man to me again. The last several years of his life were a blessing to me. We had a good relationship together again, finally.
You know, they say that Babe Ruth became great because of his home runs and his record lifetime batting average of
.711 , but he also struck out plenty too. Dad had his strikeouts too. When he was down, unfortunately, many of his friends abandoned him. Like Babe Ruth, at the end of his career playing in Yankee Stadium ("the house that Babe Ruth built"), Babe Ruth was offered a job as manager, not of the Yankees, but as the manager of a farm club team! When dad died after having a massive stroke (I think it was a broken heart), many people came to honor his life. I wish they would have been there for him when he was alive. (for that matter, I wish
I would have been there for him
all of his life).
What did dad bring to this world? A loving dad, a husband who believed once married always married, a giver. Because of him we have about 25 Chiropractors in our family and friends who by this time have given care to tens and tens of thousands of people so they can live a better life. He gave me many of my values, and my childrens, and my grandchildren. He in part was responsible for keeping Chiropractic alive during times when Chiropractic "wasn't cool".
Dad was a giver... and that's why he's my hero!
A Letter to the sons, daughters, and daughter-in-laws whom God has given me the privilege to be part of my life.
As an adult you deal with all sorts of "important" issues of life. I'm not sure what kind of trip her dad Jason had in his whirlwind 1-1/2 day trip. Times like that trying to make connections, put your best face forward for your boss, or client. Sometimes presentations don't go so good, then rushing off to catch the next flight and then you get an "important" call from someone you love. Someone who wants to share the most important thing in their life that day with their dad.
But Shane's not one to care, he's too busy building his rocket. Finally, it's done and it's time to shoot it off. Everyone gets serious as when these things take off they really fly, and this one, well, this one looks like it may go in any direction! Shane puts the rocket on the launch pad hooks up the rocket engine to the wires that lead to a launch button about 20 feet away. We all get behind garbage cans, or garbage can lids and wait for the count down. Now the kids are starting to laugh again, but then it's time. "....5, 4, 3, 2, lift off!" Whoosh! The unlikely rocket shoots up above the trees as we all look in awe.
Last year I was over their home (Shane and Holly's) and Holly says to Shane "did you tell your father?" "About what?" he said. "Your patent". "You got a patent?" I said. "Oh, It's Nothing..." "Nothing! You're the only person I actually know that got a patent!" Since then he's applied for several patents and have received 4 so far. Here's the name of one of the patents: "Lean burn engine control nox purging based on positional loading of oxidants in emission control device" That's a mouthful.
