Vent

I've been on dialysis for 4 months now. It's quite a drastic change in lifestyle. The best part of it all is the encouragement and prayers from our church people and our children. Not sure how I'd get through it without them.

Having gone to chiropractors most of my life, I'm not used to the "medical way". You see, I'm used to taking care of the whole body. Everything working together , etc. My observations with the medical way is like if the medical profession were a grocery store, you couldn't just go to one grocery store. First of all, you'd have to know what you wanted before you went and would only be shown just what you are looking for. You'd have to go to one grocery store for meat, one for canned food, one for baked goods, etc.

Today, one of the nephrologists where I get dialysis came to make his rounds. He brought out a big thick notebook with my name on it. Stood by me, didn't introduce himself and was ready to walk away. I said, "is that it?" he turned around and came back and pulled out his stethoscope and put the stethoscope on one area of my heart and then started to walk away. "I have a question", I said. Fruitless. That was the crux of it. I'm not sure what happens if you have a heart problem or some other serious thing, but I think the doctor goes over his findings, makes a prognosis, and gives you some kind of recommendations. In dialysis, that's thrown out of the window. You see the Dr. once a month like today and I'm not sure what the value of it was. Now some of you say, you need to ask the doctor. That sounds real easy except they've made an art of saying nothing and leaving immediately. A few weeks ago I was at the hospital thinking I had an infection. After blood tests, questions, poking and prodding, the doctor flys by, sticks his head in the room and says, "don't worry we'll take care of it" and leaves with my mouth dropped wondering just what it was that he'll take care of!

I've tried to frame my questions in as few words as possible so when someone does come by, I can ask. At another hospital, the doctor said, "you'll need a temporary catheter". "Why can't you just replace the one I have? The doctor acted perturbed that I asked the question and quickly left.

I quess I just have to learn how this thing all works out. Right now, I'm not sure what the whole purpose is. It seems to be a "need to know" basis and I don't need to know.

There's a lot more, but you might get the idea that I think all doctors are dorks. No not all, there are a few, very few. I'm trying to be patient but it gets very frustrating. Occasionally a nurse will ask me if I'm on a transplant list, but I tell them that in 4 months, not one doctor has ever talked to me about or suggested it me. Everything revolves around what needs to be done today and that's it. Get the dialysis and go home.

Am I trying to get people to feel sorry for me? Not at all. There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm just relating my experiences in an area of sick care I never dreamed of or heard of. It's a whole different system. Talking to a surgeon yesterday, he asked me if I worked anywhere. "No, not for 2 years" "Why not?" he said. Totally oblivious to the typical dialysis patient. I told him that I was in 3 different dialysis centers and I only knew a handful that were employed. Most of them were happy they were alive and wheeled or shuffled every other day into dialysis, but ugly scars and black areas on their arms where they get the dialysis.

What's the good part of it all? the people that support me and the opportunity I have to see how the Lord is working in their lives as they bring and take me to dialysis. That alone is almost worth it all.

Grrrr!