This blogging thing has been cathartic to me. I'll try not to embarass anyone in my ramblings but me. If you can learn anything from my life (good AND bad) that will help you to have a better life, then it will have been worth it.
There are at least four levels of conversation open to Christians:
1. Superficial level – trivial banter, ie. “nice weather. Did you see the movie..?
2. Expressive level – sharing values and visions, i.e. “I feel… I learned”
3. Vulnerable level- revealing needs “I have sinned. I need help”
4. Transformational level – changing our mind; reconstituting our habits and character under submission to God’s Word, His Spirit and His people.
Sitting home today and feeling sorry for my self. I feel terrible, but I can guarantee you that if I went out , some would say, "...you must be feeling better, because you look good!"
How often do we go through life just looking at the surface? When my wife was dying with cancer people would come over to see her and you could just read their minds. Finally, they couldn't take it any more and they'd say something like this, "...you know we've been praying for you, and the kids have been telling us how you've been doing but you don't look sick!"
This point was again brought to me when I got really sick last year. Some friends at church would come up to me (friends that looked lilke they had it all under control) and say, "I know what you're going through, I've been struggling with .....(blank illness).... for years. Every day it's a struggle to get up. My kids don't believe I'm sick because I look okay, but here's what I do to get through it. Maybe it will help you". It opened my eyes to the hidden world of friends who are struggling with sickness and other problems. We walk around saying hi and bye, nice weather, catch ya later, but how often do we actually look a little deeper? I found out after several weeks that there were many people that are "silent sufferers" and we don't even know it. They are not complainers (like me) and so no one knows any different.
Thank you friends for letting me know. Sorry I didn't notice myself.
A good friend of mine has gone through many physical troubles and when I see him I ask, how are you doing this week? "Good" he says. "How are you REALLY doing", I then ask, because I know that's the easiest answer people are looking for. Then he tells me the real story.
It's kind of a crazy thing. I don't know why we are like that (including me). Maybe we don't want to get involved, or don't have the time, or just don't realize what we're doing. I know it's not on purpose. Whatever the reason is, when I find out that someone is feeling bad and I've just passed them by with a casual 'hi', it makes me feel bad because I was so busy "doing good" that I really wasn't looking beneath their surface.
Why am I telling you this? Some for sympathy, although that is really a poor poor poor attitude and should not be tolerated by those of you reading this(!), but mostly to have you consider other people more carefully. The goal in the day is not how many people we can say hi to, but how we can touch a few people's lives and make a difference for them.
The next person you say hi to, ask them how they are REALLY doing and you'll see what I mean. Then thank God for letting you be a part of someone else's life!
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