A friend of mine lost his boss and friend this week. They worked side by side for 28 years and then all of a sudden he got a call that his friend had died. "Work was pretty quiet today", he told me. Life seemed to come to a stop.
I know the feeling. 6 years ago today I heard my wife breathe her last breath. All the years being together (28+), all the dreams, the joys, the sorrows, gone with one last breath. Dolly had struggled the last year with the effects of cancer. We had spent many days and nights in emergency. It was a time that brought our family closer together and closer to the Lord.
In the days leading to her last breath Dolly had become closer and closer to the Lord. As a normal part of her day she would rise early before the family got up, to pray and read the Bible. Although our family believes in heaven, the moment she died heaven became even more real to me. You know what I mean? It's like you know there's a heaven because God said it, but you don't spend much time thinking about it. When Dolly passed away the realness (?) and closeness of heaven became very near. Sometimes people say that when they get to heaven they want to walk the streets of gold, or talk to Moses, or look up someone, or ask God a question, etc., but when Dolly passed away I saw her (in my minds eye) not walking around, but throwing herself at the feet of Jesus thanking Him for dying for her, humbling herself before God. Dolly wasn't a boisterous person, she never was that I knew of.
When we first met (at a blind date) she seemed to me to be "pure as the fallen snow". Telling that to the couple that had fixed us up for the date, I could see they got a big kick out of hearing me say that. They kidded me for years after about that, but that's the way I felt.
When I saw her I knew she was the one for me. Of course, Dolly being Dolly, would tell me, "I'm not perfect, I don't know why you say that" You know when you've found something that is good and true and I did. We went out a few times, then I didn't see her till the following summer. We went out a few more times and I asked her to marry me. We did 3 weeks later!
We loved being together. We loved our life and making things and having children and watching them grow. We just enjoyed our family. But as I talked about in a post about "how could I forget Joy", we didn't know the Lord, and our life was not complete. If you haven't read the story, then I ask you to.
Dolly liked the simple things in life. She loved me, our children, good friends. She loved to make things. When I would come home from work and sit and watch TV, Dolly would sit alongside me, knitting, or sewing. She never wanted to waste her time.
As the kids grew up, she faithfully prayed for them, and when some of them strayed she never gave up on them. Always praying, always asking them if they were reading the Bible and going to church.
We were blessed with the family God gave us and even more so as our children married and had children.
As Dolly's symptoms of cancer progressed, she saw her family, and friends rally around her, pray for her, and try to help each other out. To see your chidren become saved and follow the Lord, then during trying times become closer to the Lord, is one of the greatest gifts a parent can get! But she just didn't just wait around to die. She wrote literally hundreds of emails to friends, missionaries encouraging them. Giving motherly advice to girls that needed it. Praying for others needs.
Dolly wasn't a complainer. She turned her pain into prayer and faced her death knowing that God would take care of her and she would be with Him in heaven.
I sit here tonight 5 minutes after the anniversary of her death. It's getting hard to believe that we had the privilege of knowing her and being with her for all those years, and yet now it seems like forever ago. I'm glad she's not in pain anymore and is with her Savior, but I miss her terribly. My selfishness wishes she were here with me. Part of me was taken the day she died. I wished she was here to see how fine her children have become and what a good job they're doing with her grandchildren. I wish her grandchildren knew her love for them. I guess they do, because their parents love them. But fortunately my selfishness didn't win out, and in reality she went through so much suffering it would be cruel for me to want her to be here.
Looking back, I urge you husbands to love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for them. Like my friend at the beginning of this article, we have no promise of tomorrow. Life is over before you know it, and you can't get it back. Those knit-picking quarrels you may be having mean nothing when you're standing before the coffin at a lifeless body.
What I wouldn't give to have one moment with her, to hold her and see her beautiful face.
Sometimes I offer to couples unasked advice. "Take time for each other, and take time off with each other". They often say, "We're so busy", or "We just don't have the money", or some other real reason. You'll never look back in life and say, 'I wish I would have spent less time with my wife', or 'I wish I would have worked more and stayed away from home more'. Work hard, live hard, and play hard, but make sure you take time for each other.
God gives us one time here on earth. We need to make good use of our time because one day our life like a vapor will be over and then we will answer for what we have done here.
Thank you Lord, for giving me Dolly for a time here on this earth and thank you for saving her soul.
here's an article we call "The Elwart's view". It came out of a time when we felt we had to explain how we felt about Dolly's illness
Our Families' Response to Cancer (published 1999)
"About a 13 or 14 months ago, Dolly was in the hospital with some pretty serious effects of the cancer. So many people had talked to us during that time to encourage us. We didn't have the opportunity to tell them what we really felt about the situation. After all, how much can you say in a sentence or two? The shock of hearing from the doctor that her condition was very grave and "she probably would only live a few months", set us all back. In her room in the hospital, after surgery, we sat around and expressed what we felt about the situation. It was a blessed time with our family and one we will never forget. Although it seemed like the situation was out of control, we knew who had control. We decided then and there to write down how each of us felt. We wanted to let our family and friends know that it wasn't hopeless.
"Perhaps you stopped by, said a prayer, called to encourage, or fixed a meal.... We thank you so much for your support and concerns during times like these!
Friends or loved ones are a special blessing in life, but much more so now. The richness of a loving family, a close friend, a good neighbor are riches beyond what we deserve.
Yesterday, after the doctors told us the seriousness of the situation, we were shocked with the reality of it and spent some time reflecting, crying, and searching for answers. After Dolly was back in her hospital bed, we sat around and tried to express what we felt about the situation. It was a tender time, and made all of us realize how blessed we are by God for His riches on us.
With all that has been going on, It seems that we never have the chance to spend the time to share with you some things that are on our hearts. We'd like to share with you, some of the thoughts about Dolly's condition.
Dan
Life is so precious and I am so fortunate to have a wife like Dolly. As each time for decisions comes up, we need to look to the One who has it ALL under control. We need to look to whom NOTHING is a surprise. In the book of First Peter in Chapter 5 and verses 6 and 7, God through the Apostle Peter says: "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." The Bible says to forget our pride and acknowledge that God is completely in control.
We have put our trust in Dolly's outcome in the hands of God. His ways are perfect regardless of what we think the outcome should be. Throughout civilization, God has always taken care of His children's needs. He has always taken care of OUR needs and will continue to do so because He promised. "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19
Jason & Elizabeth
The question most people think or ask when going through situations like this is, "...Why is this happening to me?" Well, my answer is "why not". What I mean by this statement is, that what right do we have to ask a question like this to the Almighty God who created our very soul and body. Do we doubt that He is in control and that His will will be done whether we like it or not. So let's just accept the fact that He is in control and that we have no say in who lives or who dies. What my goals and prayers in this situation are, that my family and I have the right attitude throughout this whole trial. I want to be ready and willing to do whatever the LORD would have me to do. I have purposed in my heart not to ask "why" or "what if this" or "what if that". The LORD has brought us here for a reason, I don't know what that reason is but maybe someday I will. In the mean time I am not bitter or angry for what we are going through. I count it a blessing to be going through these trials, not that I want to see my mom suffer, but I want to see the LORD honored through my mom and our family.
James 1:2-4 says "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, Knowing [this], that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have [her] perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
2 Corinthians 12:9 "And he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."
Joshua & Amy
Once we realize that all we deserve as individual sinners is hell (Romans 3:23), and everything that is brought into our lives, is part of God's sovereign plan, then we ought to rejoice and be glad in each day that the Lord brings (Philippians 4:4). There are many things I am thankful to God for...
Calling me to salvation before the world began (2 Timothy 1:9)
The hope he gives (Psalms 71:5)
Trials he brings (I Peter 4:12,13)
Peace He gives (Philippians 4:6,7)
Care he shows (I Peter 5:7)
Each day we have with mom.
Each special moment we share.
Therefore, we ought to praise Him and count our many blessings.
Shane & Holly
Ecclesiastes 7:3 "Sorrow is better than laughter, For when a face is sad a heart may be happy." This tells us that sorrow is better than laughter because through sorrow we learn and grow in wisdom. Sorrow makes us stronger and also often helps us to grow closer, to those we love. More important, it often helps us to realize that our life is like a vapor that quickly passes away. The Almighty Creator, God, who created you and me is completely in control of all things, including the health of our mother. The Lord desires our praise even in times of trouble. In Psalm 34, the psalmist says that he will praise the Lord at all times and that the Lord delivers us from trouble. We thank God for our mother who has blessed us with her love and care. We praise God that because she has been saved, that she will spend eternity in the most wonderful place with her Savior, Jesus Christ.
Jacob
God is in control. Psalm 18:30 says "as for God, His ways are perfect." What is happening to mom has come as no surprise to God. Sometimes God puts trials in our life to cause us to depend on Him. God never makes a mistake and He will never leave those who are His children. (Hebrews 13:5). God is only doing what is best for our family (Romans 8:28). We have not given up hope in God or in the health of our mother. When Jesus was anticipating His death, He went to a mountain to pray. He said "Father, all things are possible for you, remove this cup from me: yet not my will, but what you will." Mark 14:36.
Our prayer is that God will remove this cancer from mom, since ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE with God, yet we want God's will for her whatever it may be. Family and friends, we do not need to worry (Matthew 6:25-34) because mom is in the hands of the Almighty God, the Creator of heaven and earth. He cares about mom so much, just as He cares for each of us.
Scott
When trials like this come our way, many times our first reaction is to question God. Job in the Bible did this when he was tested, and God answered that question with a series of questions of His own. Job 38:4 "Were you there when the world was formed?" What God is asking is who are we to question the all-knowing, all-powerful Almighty God. He is not surprised at our situation. He knows that it is BEST for us, but He also knows that we are human and weak. This is why Psalm 103 is written for us. Read it and see for yourself.... GOD IS GOOD!
Sher
I think through the testimony and trials, I, myself have grown closer to the Lord. I am learning more and more everyday through His Word and through my families' testimonies. The other day in Sunday School, I was told the story of a family who went through an earthquake. After making sure his wife was okay, the husband left to go find his son who was at school. He got there and the school was destroyed. He mapped out in his head where his son's class was located and started digging. The police and firemen tried to get him to stop digging. He replied each time that he made a promise to his son that whatever happened, he would always be there for him. After 36 hours of digging, he got to the bottom of where his son's class was. He yelled down for his son. His son answered, "I knew you would come!" There were 14 of the 33 students alive. The father told the son to come up and the son offered to let the others go first. He said, "Dad I know you will always be there for me no matter what". Just from this little story, you think about it and see that God is there all the time even when there is nobody else to lean on. We have grown so close to the Lord and each other through this. God is so faithful and loving.
Jackie
PRAYER.... I think prayer is one of the most important things one can do to grow closer to God. We will have a better relationship with God the more we talk to Him. I have learned so much about prayer through the many things we have gone through. We should try to pray as much as we possibly can. I thank God for the wonderful and Godly parents He has given me. It has been so neat to see how they have put all their faith in God's healing power and how they have showed us to do the same. I have two favorite verses. One is I Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing". That means we should be praying constantly. And my other favorite is Philippians 4:13. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". With God's help we can accomplish any task, go through any trial, or resist any temptation that comes our way. But only if we rely completely on God and give it to Him. In closing, I praise God for what He has done and is doing in my life, and in my family's lives. And no matter what…
God Is In Control.
Joy
"The world has yet to see what God can do with one man wholly committed to him." D.L. Moody "Ah, Lord God behold thou hast made the Heaven and the earth by thy great power and outreached arm. There is nothing too difficult for thee" Jeremiah 32:17
Dolly "I would like to thank the Lord for His many blessings to me and our family. First of all, He chose to save me and the rest of our family. For that I cannot thank Him enough. Knowing that I don't deserve any good thing, because I, in myself am nothing. And YET, God cared enough to send His Son to die for me, to pay my debt for sin. He has given me so many riches, my husband, my children and their wives', and our grandchildren. He is a Great and Mighty God and worthy of Praise! I don't know how any one could go through what I am, not knowing Jesus. My prayer for you is that the Lord would save you. The Bible says seek and you will find. "
We hope you were encouraged as Dolly and I were, as our children shared from their hearts the things the Lord has shown them. We have included in this website The Bridge to Eternal Life that has in it the core belief's of our family. Please set aside some quiet time to read it and take it to heart. Any of us would be happy to talk to you about these things.
Love, Dan, Dolly, Jason & Liz, Joshua & Amy, Shane & Holly, Jacob, Scott, Sher, Jackie, Joy"
Time continues to pass, her condition steadily progresses, yet through it all, the Lord has blessed us in so many ways. He has continued to show us, that He cares for us, and has taken care of all our needs. Many of you have allowed the Lord to work through you, by helping with those needs.
We thank you from the bottom of our heart and pray that you would find "peace that passes understanding" through Jesus Christ!
Dolly Elwart...Home with the Lord
On April 1st, 2000 at 2:15 am, Dolly went home to be with the Lord After going through a 4 year illness, She was finally delivered from her pain and suffering. It was an honor and privilege to know her, love her, and to beloved by her.
"Our family would like to thank those of you who encouraged, prayed or supported her and our family through this difficult time."
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